Arghhh...

So in trying to determine what is the best way to determine what content goes here, what content is more personal and apropos for Naked Panda, and what's going to wind up on other sites (yes, there are more up my little J. Crew sleeve), I've neglected Guy in College much like Britney Spears neglected her children for the first few years of their lives. Please forgive me!

However...I have found probably the funniest blog out there (apart from my own). I give you...Fuck You, Penguin!!!

Well...damn.

Men in your 20s to 30s...take it down a notch.

TURN OFF WHAT YOU'RE LISTENING TO!

Lily Allen is coming out with her new album on February 10, but she's already released this awesome song, The Fear. Listen and be prepared for a little orgasm at the end:

She Was Confused!

Sarah Palin, thinking she was going to a 1950s prom instead of the Alaskan capitol building, delivers the state of the state address with a garden growing on her left shoulder.

Something We Should All Read

It's no big secret that Boston College (and I'm sure just about any other school not located south of the Mason-Dixon) is not exactly a dating environment. Sure, we all go to parties all over the place to drink, find that attractive (at least for the night) person, and essentially have our hour (more or less, depending on your style) of fun; however, the idea of actually talking to "Whatzizname" or "Mary? Mary! Oh, wait, it was Whitney..." and grabbing food and getting to know him or her is just out of the question. Period. Needless to say, I couldn't help but wonder, if this has become the social normity of "dating"--aka fucking--at college, why is it that so many people in this school are looking for something more? Luckily, some genius at Harvard (yes, there might be one or two over there) wrote a brilliant article to answer for you why you don't have that special someone in your life!

Read it here!

WTF Convo of the Night

Meg: I just love my French professor. He just looks so Parisian!
Pat/Me: What do you mean by that?
Meg: Well, he has a pointy nose, and he wears these boots like he's about to go out in the snow...

OK...Let's Move On...

Ok, yes, a plane crashed, but let's face it...nobody died, everyone is fine, blah blah blah. PS, the fact that a goose is able to wipe out an Airbus miiiight harm Airbus's chances at delivering a new Air Force One.

Thank God...

All 155 passengers and crew aboard a US Airways flight from New York to Charlotte, NC, were safely rescued after the flight took off from NY-LGA and crashed earlier today.

Don't Fuck With Memphis...

...or FedEx. They will cause harm to your soul...and your twitter.

Conversation of the Day...no...of my LIFE!!!

My friend...we'll call him Adolf...had a family member's birthday party to go to the other day, and when he returned, the convo basically went like this:

Me: Oh, hey! [ok, the exclamation point already means I'm lying. I never sound this enthusiastic when I talk] How was the birthday party?

Adolf: Soooo good.

Me: Um, why do you put it that way?

Adolf: I saw the HOTTEST guy while there. I mean, legit, he was an H-O-T-T-I-E! I was misty, and I don't mean in my eyes. Seriously, I could have ju-

Me: Wait a minute, wait a minute...this guy...he was at the birthday party?

Adolf: Yeah.

Me: A family birthday party?

Adolf: Yeah.

Me: THAT MEANS YOU WERE RELATED, YOU TWISTED FUCK!

Adolf: Ok, before you judge, I traced the family lines: he was the son of a woman (50%) of a daughter of a woman (50%) who was brothers with my dads father (50%) and Im my dads son (50%).

Me: So?

Adolf: so...50 of 50 is 25. 50 of that is 12.5, and 50 of that is 6.25. So if the opportunity presented itself id totally hook up with him. It's completely legit.

Me: I thought when I left the South, I'd never have to deal with people like you.

Oprah and Kate Love the Saggy!

Kate Winslet was on Oprah to discuss her movies/show off her double Golden Globe wins...but then discussion turned to two other golden globes. Oprah went basically batshit crazy over the fact that Winslet's boobs are obviously real and are a few years shy of hanging past her knees (jk! Winslet is a total hottie and GiC fave). Still...the video above gets a little too enthusiastic for me and my testosterone.

Bundle Up!

Morning, you sexy gazelles. It's cold out there, so grab a scarf or someone who's at least mildly attractive and use them for warmth!

If you resort to the latter of the two, here are warming tips!

Oh My God.

Click here for just about the most disturbing/hilarious things I've read today. Askmen.com has a plethora of Top 10 lists, and this is the 10 Ways to Flirth With a Woman Sexually one. Granted, how the hell do you flirt in a non-sexual way? Still, the BEST BEST BEST BEST BEST part that none of you with at least an eighth of a brain should EVER use is this little vital tip:

"No.2 - Let her know you know:

Want to know a secret about female sexuality that 99% of men don't know? Here it is: Many women feel compelled to vacuum their house when they're ovulating. Some experts believe it has something to do with wanting to "clean the nest" before laying her "egg." So, when a woman tells you she is vacuuming, say: "Vacuuming? Are you ovulating or something?" She’ll be stunned that you know this and wonder what else you know about female sexuality. Of course, if she doesn’t know what you mean, fill her in. Women love it when you teach them something new -- especially about themselves."

Um, gentlemen? You will NOT get in bed for knowing that fact. Just a little bit of advice.

Kelly Clarkson Proves She's Not a Waste

After the shiteous attempt at writing all of the songs on her last record with lyrics talking about hoping rings would turn people's fingers green, Kelly Clarkson returns with what she does best: singing pop songs that old geezers who know best write for her! Check out My Life Would Suck Without You below:

Daily Reflection...

The New York Times--yes, THE NEW YORK TIMES--put on a panel discussion comprised of the "ladies" who host The View. Interesting tidbits were revealed from this little chit chat that basically amounted to a bunch of people in an auditorium watching these hags bitch and have hot flashes at night as opposed to within the realm of their normal morning timeslot. Fun facts included the fact that The View wants to Eiffel Tower your weekend with a two huge doses of crazy!! Friday's guest was Tom "I'm a Martian" Cruise and Monday's will be Ann "I Have an Adam's Apple" Coulter. Tune in Tuesday to see what parts of the View set were salvaged after being raped by an alien and basically the modern-day Mussolini.

Here's the only thing I want to know: Why did Elisabeth and Whoopi dress for this thing like it was a Saturday morning in the suburbs and they were going to check out garage sales?? This is the New York Times! Get classy!

Bahahaha

The slightly sane half of the 192nd hour of the Today Show, Hoda Kotb, has always proclaimed that she doesn't drink that much. The beautiful people at Gawker show how this isn't so true...

Caption It

President George H.W. Bush, President-Elect Barack Obama, President George W. Bush, President Bill Clinton, and an unidentified leprechaun gather in the Oval Office of the White House earlier today.

Fear Not! Even YOU Can Be Pretty With Photoshop!

America's favorite Midwestern/British pop star, Madonna, as the new face of Louis Vuitton and the apparent recipient of airbrushing:


Madonna sans airbrushing and in her latest concert:

A Gift Oprah Doesn't Grasp

On today's Oprah, she had two ministers talking about how being gay was a gift from job. Watching Queen O's reaction is priceless...but I'm actually more impressed that she's skype-ing with her viewers! Huzzah! [Click for link on Gawker]

If True, My Life Is Made

Folks are alleging that this blonde chick in a mask Michael Jackson uses to protect what's left of his nose and wearing a bear over her back is Ann Coulter. Please, God? We know Santa isn't real! Can't this be???

Book Club!

Oprah, uhh...I mean the profound literary critics over at College Mogul, another blog churned out from a BC mind, have made an excellent choice if you're in the mood for hearing the backstory behind songs about a drive-by, pimps, hos, pimps and hos, pimps on hos, pimps beating hos, etc. Yup, they want you to check out Eminem's autobiography. Riveting. And such a shame it didn't win a Pulitzer.

Day-um

Ch-ch-check out Jason Mraz's new music vid for Lucky, his song with Colbie Caillat. Pretty hot!

Words of the Wise

America's Favorite Middle-Aged Woman, Clay Aiken, was ambushed by fans recently:

Music Minute

So, granted, this shit is old. Like...2006 old, so for a dance track, that's basically like getting fed ovaltine at the home, but fuck it! I like this, and it has me dancing on a Tuesday afternoon while it's cold and rainy outside. Thus, I give you Be Still by Kaskade:

I'm Back, Hoes...

The Guy in College has exciting shit hitting the blog in the coming week. New content and new servers are up and running, so get ready to enjoy the shit show.