Best Line in Journalism Today!

I had to read it twice when a lovely Guy in College reader forwarded me this article from the Memphis Commercial Appeal about Grizzlies Media Day. The NBA team will have an Iranian player on the team this year, and in describing the situation, dear Geoff Calkins made my day:

"The real live Iranian, Hamed Haddadi, sat alongside an interpreter the Grizzlies found at a local rug store."

Beautiful...and you'll only find that in the South!

Thanks, Washington

So I have to get political here... if you're Republican, Democrat, Independent, or whatever, you have to understand the gravity of today's news that the Economic Bailout bill failed in the House. Guys, this is not good news in the least. Now is not the time to point the blame...Republicans have their theories; Democrats have theirs...nevertheless, now is the time to realize that there is a serious economic issue going on in the United States. I, along with the next guy, hate the fact that bailing out Wall Street investment banks with taxpayer dollars is what has to happen to resolve much of the crisis, but you have to realize that if these banks fall, so do numerous other industries. Don't maintain the mantra that certain people whom I am close with have chanted: "the economy is fine. the airports are busy, stores are crowded...we have nothing to worry about." This is total crap, and these are the people who are left in charge to basically set the stage for how America is going to be when all of us leave college. Don't stand for this, folks. It is an election year, after all...express your voice.

More funny...

Funny lady Tina Fey returned to SNL to reprise her Sarah Palin impersonation..."I went to the Times Square area to see a film called the Bush Doctrine...it was not about politics" :)

G'morning...

Rise and shine, BC, your guy in college has already been up for several hours to see the rain finally stop and to keep prowl of everything you should know going into this week...lower live still smells like an animal is decomposing behind the drink machines (just warning you!)...certain GiC tipsters inform me that three certain Plex-orexics were sure as hell rocking the ellipticals as soon as the gym opened this morn...anyone care to guess who? I'll give you a hint...one is two southern states over from where the Guy in College is from.

Weekend Jamz

Word to your mother, BC. The Guy in College is ready for the rain to be dunzo (that one's for you, California kids); however, it looks like there's no end in sight. On top of everything, it's Parents Weekend...blah. So take a few shots of tequila and dance it out to this weekend's song: Poker Face by Lady Gaga

We love our nuns!

Obviously when you go to a school glazed in Catholicism, you gotta love your nuns...she may be a Buddhist one, but Jakucho Setouchi might be the most badass/advanced nun ever!

John McCain Is a Dick

Basically in a cheap move to steal thunder from an Obama idea, McCain has rushed plans for a response to the US economy being in the crapper by suspending his campaign and trying to pressure Obama out of a debate on Friday at the University of Mississippi. Apparently here's how it went down:

"The Obama campaign said the Illinois senator had called McCain around 8:30 a.m. Wednesday to propose that they issue a joint statement in support of a package to help fix the economy as soon as possible. McCain called back six hours later and agreed to the idea of the statement, the Obama campaign said. McCain's statement about postponing his campaign was issued to the media a few minutes later."

As mentioned earlier...this is all just a way to give Grandpa some time to figure out some responses to the fact that his Republican party that promotes laissez faire policies that let businesses and Wall Street do as they please with little intervention got us in this position!

Nevertheless, the Obama camp apparently is going to play hardball and not back down from the debates after getting bitten by the McCain campaign. See you in Oxford, bitches!

WANTED!

Want to join the creative team here at Guyincollege.com? Looking for site designers, writers, and photographers who are interested in being a part of this blog-venture as we grow and expand!

All interested please e-mail me at guyincollege@live.com

More "Hacker" News

So basically it has come out that David Kernell didn't hack into Palin's account as much as he basically was good at guessing the answers to security questions on yahoo. Are you kidding me? Not only is that lame as hell, it's also what about half of my friends do to keep tabs on their exes (or current flames). Are we going to start sending those crazies to the Federal Pen, too??? Sarah Palin, you're a dumbass for "concealing" your life's secrets in the equivalent of a dollar-store, Hello Kitty diary that has a lock that is basically the easier to get into than Tara Reid's pants!

Meet the New Heights Douche

Paul R. D'Onofrio is mad, and he wants you to know about it! Apparently a freshman guy was at last Saturday's BC-UCF game with an altered Superfan shirt. He had changed the Class of 2012 motto of "On the Hunt for Excellence" to "On the Hunt for Cunt." The Guy in College is rather split on this one...Anything is better than the current Freshman line that seems like the creed of a suburban middle school, and the fact that this kid made a fun little rhyme is also a plus...however, it is rather offensive. End of story.

Well, Mr. D'Onofrio didn't just leave it at that. He was PISSED! With a capital P! He describes his feelings as ones that, if he honestly expressed them in the glorified and prestigious pages of our little newspaper, would compromise his stellar journalistic integrity. OH NO, PAUL! NOT THAT! NEVER SAY THAT!!! I continued to go along with the article until he goes on this little tirade:

"There is a larger issue at hand here. Why do some young men think it is appropriate and funny to treat women in such a disrespectful way? That is a good question. How do some young men at BC think it is ok to rape a girl?"

Um, what? WHO ARE THESE MEN WHO THINK IT IS OK TO RAPE A GIRL? The kid was just trying to be funny and maybe get lucky when he got shattered at a post-game tailgate! Paul, calm the hell down! However, he won't! He issues everyone a challenge to refute his little rant...but, be warned, Heightsmen, he dares a single one of you to use the First Ammendment as an argument! Oh, my!

Totally late to the Game With This One...

Who is this potato-sack-for-a-face-of-a-woman and why have I not found out about her sooner? While I was sick, I totally was packing on the crappy reality TV and happened to stumble upon this dumbass's show, The Rachel Zoe Project. Apart from sounding like she might fit in more with the Campus School students than she would with actual celebrities, this woman is absolutely insane! Episode 1 entailed her stroking/caressing a mannequin and asking whether that was wrong...YES! It IS! She also compliments things with "lovesit", thus answering the huge mystery of life over what Paris Hilton will be like as she approaches menopause...this is her! Click above to see Rachel Zoe and her life that is self-professed as "vintage and dramatic" (pronounced by her as "viiiiiiiintaaaaaaaagee and dramaaaaaaaaaaatiiiiic"), and meet Brad, her queen of an assistant, get ordered to ride the pink pony.

Um, breaking news, maybe, not really?

On this week's cover of People, Clay Aiken announces to the world that he's gay...to which many wonder if he was the last to discover this bit of "news". Note to People Magazine: if you're going to out someone as GAY on your cover...don't make him look like a lesbian!!!

Are you kidding me?

John McCain, realizing that he and his party have no control over the current state of the economy, asks for this Friday's debate to be postponed.

MAJOR Improvement

So, remember the weird as hell Microsoft ads with Jerry Seinfeld and Bill Gates? Yeah, understandable if you don't. Well, Jerry's out, and Eva Longoria is in...check it out:

Under the Radar

You gotta check out the new celeb line of leggos...they actually make Amy Winhouse, Victoria Beckham, and Madonna appear as though they eat real food...and they probably weigh more than the actual celebs!


Watch CBS Videos Online

New Jason Mraz

Guy In College's summer obsession, Jason Mraz, has a new video out for "Make It Mine." Good stuff! Check it out:

Dear Canadians...

Why do you like stabbing each other on buses? This is not normal...and the second time this has happened in a matter of months!

Music Minute

Evening, kiddos, and forgive me...your Guy in College has been under the weather for most of the weekend and into today; however, that isn't to say I don't love you. Herewith...what I'm listening to right now:

Lame, Party of One? Your Table Is Ready...

This Thursday's issue of the Heights covers how the latest rage on campus is going to be this CrossCampus game that is just like Risk and is played online. One is supposed to be able to conquer various spots on campus...and you can even chat live with other players!!! Wahoo!! This, like Dungeons and Dragons...and maybe even the Heights itself...should be left for the awkward kids at the lunch table. Happy Weekend!

Fashion Brouhaha

America's favorite pissed off-looking hobos, Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen, apparently are having a tiff over their fashion line. Ashley, the twin known for not having an eating disorder or sharing a boyfriend with Paris Hilton, apparently is tired of working with a party girl (or maybe she got mad that Mary Kate actually smiles these days in some of her pictures) and has cut her twin from their couture collection The Row. MKO is apparently left to their "cheap shit" line called Elizabeth and James while twin sis stays enveloped in the couture end of things.

When will MKO possibly make a return to the bigger stuff? Word is "not until she has her personal life together."

Hacker Fun Part 2!

So my sources at UT-Knoxville tell me that rumors started swirling down there after David Kernell failed to show up to econometrics for the past four days (apparently my sources are focused more on attendance than economics). People began to get worried that he was sick or worse...however, then came the news that he was out passing along the number for Whorey, I mean, Bristol Palin's phone and basically pissing off Big Daddy McCain for the little invasion of privacy stunt.

Nevertheless, word coming from Germantown tonight is that most of the town (and Memphis) don't think it's really a bad thing so much as they want to shake the hand of the BAMF who broke into Little Miss Wasilla's yahoo account! Hell, if this doesn't cause people to make the switch to gmail, I don't know what will!

Holy Shit...Holy Fucking Shit!!

I WENT TO HIGH SCHOOL WITH SARAH PALIN'S HACKER!!!! WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!?!

More Here.

Music Minute

Because I miss Memphis...and ghetto stuff...and because it's hard out here for a pimp:

The List Keeps Growing!

America adds another to its growing list of favorite lesbians! Is it me or does it seem like lesbianism is more popular than just about anything else this season? Think about it...*coughellenportialindseyjodiesamantharachelcough*

Morning Buzz...

Maybe we shouldn't be so upset that we were all wait-listed at Harvard. They seem to churn out a new porno mag every year...and honestly, who really wants to look at a magazine full of naked Harvard students...yeah, me neither. However, this ape of a human apparently thinks he's hot shit. Be prepared to puke.

Now the middle-high school crowd can grow to appreciate middle-age whoredom. Candace Bushnell announces plan to write books documenting Carrie Bradshaw, her main character in Sex and the City, and her life in high school.

The Red Coats (well, an imposter one) Invade Facebook!!!

Someone has made a pretty damn good fake facebook for Prince William. So much so that actual celebs (well, if you can still call Mischa Barton a celeb) have friended (and been accepted!!!) by him.

Complaint(s) of the Day

Adolfo, the guy who doesn't speak English and makes sandwiches at Eagle's Nest, yet again refuses my request for very little balsamic vinaigrette on my Mediterranean Chicken sandwich...I was tres pissed and about ready to hop the counter to show him how to make a motherfucking sandwich and then go all "I TELL YOU TO GO LIGHT ON THE DRESSING EVERY FUCKING DAY I'M IN HERE! EVERY MOTHERFUCKING DAY!!!!!" on his ass, but then, he smiled and said, "Have a nice day, sir!" It reminded me so much of the South, so I totally forgave him. I'm also thinking his name might not be Adolfo...too close to home for Hitler...

Also...the Newton bus reeked today whilst I rode it do business on the hell campus. And in further news, apparently every damn Freshman on the gondola to the forgotten city read the article in the Heights yesterday about how you should not listen to your ipod for the first few weeks here...instead, you should be...shudder...bonding with your classmates. Well, seeing as I'm neither a freshman nor do I live on Newton, I was blaring out to Rage Against the Machine full force on my ipod and texting up a storm when all of a sudden...tap tap tap. I jump and then notice some little cluster of girls looking at me. I take out an earbud: "What?"
The leader of their little clique stares at me and says, "So why aren't you talking to anyone? You're the only one here listening to an ipod."
I look around...sure enough, out of the 9000 of us crammed into the Amistad, I was the only one who looked blissfully into some rager music. I glare back at them and respond, "Because I don't want to know any of you" and put my earbud back into place.

Wahoo!

Cover of today's Heights:

ROOTS DRAW 2,900

Guy in College Math:

Capacity of Conte Forum--8,606


Um, shit's weak, UGBC...get better acts!

Mmm Mmm Mmm!!

Have some hunger pains and want it upscale and exotic? Try these restaurants! You might need protection to eat at Number 1!

If You Didn't See...

This is hilarious!

Fight of the Day

So the 8 hours of sleep I got over the span of this week apparently made me ready to lunge at the first person to piss me up. Here's the scene in poli sci this morning:

Douchebag Freshman Wearing a Bowtie: I have to really disagree with what Aristotle is saying here on slavery. There is no natural element to it, and, frankly, Aristotle comes across as ignorant and sounds Southern by writing this.

I raise my hand

Me: [After making my initial argument, I face the douche] Considering that I'm the only person from the South in the room, may I ask what you mean by saying that Aristotle sounds "Southern"? Let me inform you that I've heard the N word dropped much more freely up here than I ever did back home, so you may want to reword your thoughts on Aristotle before speaking again.


And then I whistled "Dixie."

Daily Roundup

Hey, remember reading The Handmaid's Tale in high school and loving it/hating it for basically freaking the fuck out of you with its raw, um, fuck scenes? Well, now you can tie that to Sarah Palin! [Jezebel]

Hey, girls. Shut the hell up. Your BFF4E doesn't want to hear for the 5000th time about how the guy who gave you herpes won't call you back, but you're still together, so you aren't sure whether or not to break up with him or just give him his space or, like, omglolz cheat on him but then risk spreading the herp to other dudes...LMFAO, IDK!!! [NYT]

America Ferrera claims shows like Gossip Girl girls to be catty...and then goes back to bitch slap one of her costars on her beacon of all morals show Ugly Betty, a program centered on life (and cattiness) at a fashion mag. [MSNBC]

And if any of you happened to be in Memphis for the auction at our once-hopping strip club, please let me know. Quote of the day: "'My wife said if I get her a pair of shoes, she'll play dress-up with me,' said James Cooper, 42." [Commercial Appeal]

Forgive Me

Hello, BC (and everyone else), and forgive the lack of updates...however, the Guy in College is here and back with a bang! What the hell is going on in Illinois? And might I add...are the Jesuits here going to start this up to get a little pocket money?

Daily Election Pissing Match

McCain gets angry over Obama using the "You can put lipstick on a pig. It's still a pig" line because, well...IT WAS HIS FIRST!!!

Scientists attempt to fuck over the world. R.E.M. ponders one last performance of "It's the End of the World As We Know It"...

Oh No He Didn't!

Men's Health editor Dave Zinczenko compares himself (ok, his "Eat This, Not That!" brand) to "Barak" Obama...really? really? Read the whole e-mail distributed to the staff at Men's Health. Then go wonder why the hell you should get your workout and sex tips from a man like that...not that I ever did or anything... [Gawker]

M.I.A....Successfully Scaring Me Since 2005

So everybody's favorite Sri Lankan started blaring from my ipod about two seconds ago and managed to frighten me away from my peace and war reading...coincidentally, the song's called Bird Flu:



Most of you posers probably know her for this gem...that's been out forever:

Music Minute...

Why the hell do I like this song so much? Because it's damn awesome and on my "Chill Reefer Music" playlist, that's why!

Explain To Me This...

The song is awesome, but why is Rihanna trying to look like she just stepped out of Arkansas circa 1983?

K, There Was Another Noteworthy VMA Performance After All...

The Only Noteworthy Performance of the VMAs

So, yeah, the talented Miss Aguilera went Lady Gaga for her look in this remixed version of Genie in a Bottle and her new single "Keeps Getting Better." Shame that she can pull this off and Britney will still get more press for feeding her children cigarettes.

Daily Roundup

So apparently Ann Curry angered a lot of Republicans from Alaska and the Virgin Islands with...gasp...FINGER POINTING!!!! Ouch.

Republicans make an attempt to stray...but just this one time only!...from Bush policy. Second Paragraph

Britney may have lost her children, but hey...at least now she has three moon men to look after.

Madonna dedicates "Like a Virgin" to the Pope whilst on tour in Rome...though, should he really be that upset? Most Catholic priests are only like virgins anyway. :)

Nemo might just be lingering in that next overpriced spicy tuna roll you order at Nobu. [Gawker]

When Britney Spears is the Most Competent Person At Your Awards Show...

...You know that you're in a major shit show.

VMA Night!

So Britney's opening the VMAs tonight...but NOT performing...so what the fuck is she going to do?? Give birth? Oh, wait, they said it was a surprise moment...britney spears giving birth to child isn't exactly a surprise...from better times:

Next Time You're In Chicago...

SHUT THE FUCK UP, MOTHERFUCKER!!! God, I want a hot dog

Your Grandma Can Walk It Out

College Football Week 2

To all of those singing the national anthem at this weekend's college football games...don't fuck it up!

First Football Game This Weekend

BC welcomes (and hopefully crushes) Georgia Tech this weekend. Huzzah!

P.S. My laptop is back...get ready for everything

If Last Night Didn't Send This Message:

If you didn't get the message clearly from her sarcastic, error galore speech last night, this video of Sarah Palin definitely will: Don't fuck with her!

So by not releasing her tax returns, Cindy McCain sends the message to voters "I'm not one of you" (per CNN). So what does she do? Put on jeans that likely cost several hundred dollars and pose in Vogue...nothing screams middle America and Red States like that!

Are You Kidding Me

So many of you may have seen this, but watch Cindy McCain use what, up until then, had been a joke as an actual argument for Sarah Palin's foreign policy experience...

Updates Coming Soon

So my laptop is in the shop, but it will be back very soon! With it's return will come more updates...however, because I love all of you, here is the best clip ever. Sarah Palin's daughter is adorable...and hilarious:

Back to School...

So unfortunately classes started today (actually I'm kinda pumped), but due to the guy having quite a few things to read, the updates are kinda lame today...see you all tomorrow

Answer Me This...

Wakey wakey, BC...don't hurry to lower this morning...the Frosh have it packed for some very bizarre reason. Are the tents of McElroy turning them off or something? Seriously, why does every meal upperclassmen eat in the lower dining hall seem to always be served with a side of the Class of 2012? I smell a turf war coming...or at least one can hope.

It's Good That Republicans Promote Family Values...

...because Sarah Palin's family is about to grow!

Need I Say More

So this little gem was released after a report surfaced that Mother Palin's daughter was the actual mother to Trig, Sarah Palin's fifth child who she didn't even admit to being pregnant with until her seventh month of pregnancy. Of course, it was later announced that daughter Palin's eggo is preggo as I type this.

GiC Makes the College Blog Network

Guy In College is expanding its reach! We're now on the College Blog Network, as of yesterday.